I AM LEGEND: REVIEW (SHORT)

Emma Thompson, seen only in video-tape flashback, invents a vaccine for cancer. It ends up killing or horribly mutating most of the world, except for one man. This is one of the more plausible developments of the movie, and I wish it was explored more. The whole world wants a cure for cancer, and who wouldn't line up to drink the Kool-Aid? (Side effects include: starring in a Will Smith movie.)

So Will Smith is literally the last man on earth, marooned on the island of Manhattan, the only human who can walk in the daylight. At night, he must lock himself in, and hope that the nightmares- both in his head and outside his house- go away.

It's a hell of a setup. There are many philosophical implications to it, largely ignored during the movie, save some lame talk about "God's Plan." But give Smith some credit, he is incredibly watchable on his own, and it took some gumption to get this story filmed. After all, Cast Away- the only movie that comes to mind for comparison- barely made its money back, and most people remember it purely for the volleyball. Here, most people will remember this movie for the dog, Sam. Lesson learned: never work with animals, or humanized balls.

The movie is gripping, until it isn't- about an hour into the 90 minute movie. The special effects are fantastic, until they're not- about an hour into the 90 minute movie. Sense the theme? Basically, you're talking an original thought spun out about as long as it can be (which is an hour), followed by a standard 30 minute zombie/vampire movie.

This would be fine, if the creatures weren't so damn lame. It is amazing to me that they could spend so much to make us buy the New York of the Future, and shortchange us on the monsters. Simply put, the creatures are digital, they are uninteresting, and they are crappy. I kept waiting for one of the vampires to actually speak, or have a plan more complicated than "Kill the Human", but, alas.

Still, if a movie does one thing better than anyone else ever has, it's worthy of praise. And I Am Legend sets a new standard for New York of the Future. It officially replaces Vanilla Sky for "best creepy deserted New York scene", it makes Day After Tomorrow look like Escape From New York in terms of special effects, and Will Smith makes the Last Man on Earth schtick work. You totally buy that he is real, that the city is real, that the dread is real. The problem is, the monsters aren't real. They aren't scary. They're just kind of silly.

Am I glad I saw it? Sure. Do you need to see it, if you haven't? Nah.

RATING: * * * Stars (out of 5 )

P.S. Small quibble: in New York of the Future, everything is falling apart, except for the Fords, Mac computers, and DVDs of Goodnight and Good Luck. Those are still fine and shiny, so we can be sure to see which brands last longer.